Taking A Chance, Without Trust
by KluTzXCliMbeRX101
Summary: Edward left but surely he would come back...right? A new coven moves into town. At first, it seems that Bella is in her own lonely depression to even notice. However, when Carson and Bella meet that fateful night in the woods, relationships begin to bloom
1. Chap 1 Let me just say

**Disclamier- Not mine, but a girl could hope..right?**

**A/n- ENJOY!!**

**B POV- **

A new year, new memories, and a new beginning for hope, but only for some. But I am not part of that 'some,' as I will only wallow in my little pit of despair. Edward left while the new school year has just begun; all the Cullen's left, probably never to be seen again.

I knew it was wrong to revolve Edward and his family around my life entirely, because now that they have left, I truly have nothing, no friends and barely any family, but when you are in love like that, nothing seems important anymore, and you are stupid enough to believe it lasts forever.

Silly mistakes,_ 'never to happen again,'_ I promised myself. However, how many chances do you get like that though, not many, I guess I was just one of those people to fall into an unpredictable and failed fairy tale.

Vampire and human, never would have made it...right?

I was sitting on my bed, staring at the clock, 7:15 it read, I was glaring at it now; I was hating how time went by so slowly. It was the first day of my senior year, memories that would last forever and this was suppose to be one of the best times of my life, but to me, it was just a waste of time.

I replayed the exact scene of when Edward told me he never loved me, sure it hurt, more then all the pain the world combined, but that didn't mean I could just erase that one moment from my life, no matter how painful it was. I let a few tears fall, and used the back of my hand to wipe the cold sweat away from my forehead, caused by having a nightmare of Edward just a few minutes ago.

I got up and took a semi-relaxing shower, and then I changed into a light blue T-shirt, with dark blue jeans and a white hoodie. Forks was never warm, so why dress like it was?

I took one last look at myself, their were dark purple circles under my eyes, and my skin looked blotchy, and my red puffy eyes weren't attracting anyone, but this is how I always looked, it's something you get used to.

I ran down the stairs, loosing my footing as usual and tumbling downward, I wasn't waiting for those stone cold hands to catch me anymore, but I couldn't help but be hopeful.

I landed on my hands and knees, my hands were bleeding a little though.

"Crap" I muttered under my breath and walked over to my sink to rinse it off, while I grabbed a granola bar and shoved it in my mouth. It was still sticking out of my lips as I went to open my door to my poor-excuse-to-call-a-truck.

The engine roared to life and I pulled out of my driveway just like any other day, but not before noticing the black Mercedes Benz, a light blue corvette and a silver Honda Accord in the driveway across the street. Then I was off to school.

I parked in first empty spot I saw and got out of my truck.

I noticed the Mercedes was in the parking lot, I thought nothing of it, like how I thought of most things, nothing, because it had no meaning to me.

I walked towards my first period class, I let my imaginations and hallucinations roam free during Mr. Barren's lectures on his rules in his class room, and how this whole class room was a family and was suppose to be treated as one, but the truth was I had no family, not anymore, because it left me, in the cold, hard world I found it to be.

By the time it was lunch, I heard the rumors, the new kids. I didn't give it a second thought.

I wasn't exactly friends with anybody specific, but I wasn't stupid, I knew what the news was around the school but it never made an effect on me.

I sat next to Angela Weber, she was the sweetest girl I met, but I was too focused on my relationship with Edward to get to know her at all, but she forgave me.

Then I looked at the table the Cullen's and I used to share, it was now occupied by 2 kids, who I learned their names, Carson and Heidi, Carson had dark brown hair with dirty-blond natural high-lights, defined muscles and very pale skin, Heidi has reddish-brown hair with bangs in the front of her face, defined curves, and also very pale skin. They were both too far away for me to see their eye color. I already had trigonometry with Heidi; she sits on the other side of my room from me and Carson I don't know much about.

I turned away quickly, not wanting them to see me staring.

"Hey Angela, what do you know of the new kids?" I asked. It's been a long time since I talked to her, but it's also been a _longer _time since I used my voice often to form a full sentence.

"I can tell you about them" Jessica's high-pitched voice said to me and she acted as if she knew everything about them.

I didn't have to talk for her to continue, "They are both adopted but I don't think they are dating or anything, their father, Felix Stivil, is a private detective, and their mother, Louisa Stivil, is a veterinarian, I don't think she can have children." Jessica finished with one swift breath.

I just nodded my head, something about those two people, something about them, triggered something into my mind to a place I forbid myself to ever enter again.

But something very special about them was putting my brain into a frenzy…..I just, didn't know what it was yet.

When the lunch bell rang I noticed I hadn't eaten anything so I stuffed everything down into my mouth just before I dumped my tray into the garbage. I grabbed my books and ran to class, I was going to be late, and then I slowed my pace down to walk.

Why rush? Their was nothing I was looking forward to anyway.

Once I made it back to the one classroom I had too many memories with, the biology room, their was someone in _his _place. It was that Carson kid, how ironic?

Seeing as I was late, and their was only one spot left, next to him. I walked over without blinking, my foot caught on a leg of a chair but I caught myself quickly, hopefully no one saw that.

I sat down next to this mystery kid. "Nice fall." I heard his voice say in sarcasm.

I mentally cursed myself for my clumsiness; I turned to look at him and then slammed my lips tight together, to stop the gasp that made its way up my throat.

His golden eyes were penetrating, and I knew them all too well.

'_Vampire' _I thought. Well…this is unexpected but very pleasant.

'_Time to have some fun with this guy.'_ I thought. I knew I could totally mess with his head, and since I had nothing better to do, I definitely would. That sweet, innocent Bella was long gone, along with my heart that _he _so brutally broke, I was now hard, tough, and not easy to catch, but that was the new Bella, that no body took the chance to get to know, but I knew it was still there.

I grinned and rolled my eyes at his comment at my clumsiness.

"Hey, I'm Carson." He said with warm, topaz eyes.

"Hello, call me Bella." I said just as warmly.

Let me just say 'Hello', and that's when it all began, the journey that neither of us could ever comprehend, one simple 'Hello' and my life would be turned up-side-down, but this is just the beginning.

**A/n-**** Well this is a story that just popped into my head and I couldn't get it out, so I let my fingers roam free. And this is what I got, I hope you guys like it!! Review I want to know what you think so far. Your opinions mean A LOT to a story!! I know it's the beginning of a story but give it a chance!!**

**Thanks for reading!!**

**-KluTz**


	2. Chap 2 Just Like Any Other Day

**Disclamier- Let me borrow them and we can all have a huge party!! but for now... u just get a story. XP (STILL DON"T OWN IT!!) **

**A/n- ENJOY!!**

**B-POV-**

I walked back to my truck when school ended, just like any other day. So when it took a while to get the truck started, I wasn't surprised.

I looked at the black Mercedes as it sped by me, I grinned; I knew their secret and could make them do anything.

When I slowly drove home I planned on what I would do to this clueless family, sure I wasn't going to reveal their secret, but having a little fun wouldn't harm anyone.

When I got home, I crumpled to the ground, flashes of Edward were coming at me full force, I remembered those same golden eyes staring at me, only they were Carson's. The hole in my chest still ripped at my sides, that it almost seemed impossible to even try to hold myself together. This pain, this brutally, agonizing misery that I have been suffering threw can only be made by one truly shattered heart.

_'Be Safe'_ His velvety voice said in my ears.

I let out an agonized scream to let my emotions go.

Then, all at once, I locked them back up again.

I made spaghetti for Charlie and I, and when I finished it, I ran up-stairs without a single word to him, sure I felt bad sometimes, but was their really anything to say?

I brushed my teeth and hair, when I finally got into bed; I let the nightmares flood my mind and the tears stream down my face, just like any other night.

When I woke up it was once again 7:15, just like any other day I did my same routine. Shower, brush my teeth and hair, dress in ripped jeans and a T-shirt, grabbed a breakfast- bar, put on shoes and casually walk out the door.

The truck groaned in protests but I finally got it to work and once I got to the school, I shut the truck off and saw that familiar Mercedes in the parking lot.

I smirked and went to class, and was bored out of my mind that I actually stared at the clock counting the minutes to when lunch was.

However, when lunch finally arrived, I grabbed some food and sat down at my normal table. Let the taunting begin.

"Hey Angela." I said, Angela almost looked surprised at my sudden out-bursts of talking recently, since I usually never talked, only because, there was nothing really to say.

"Do you see anything odd about the new kids?" I asked.

"Um…no Bella? Why do you ask?" She was a little confused; she didn't know where I was getting at.

"Well…I don't know. They seem kind of….different. I mean look at them, they are gorgeous, that have the palest skin I have ever seen, and their golden eyes almost seem like they belong to another creature." I said, slightly other dramatic, and as I turned around I could see Carson staring full force at my eyes, his facial expression was un-readable, but I knew what he was thinking. Heidi looked like she was zoning out, probably from the boring high school that surrounded her, but then again, who could blame her.

"They look like the Cullens." Jessica said with a smirk on her face and with an eyebrow arched, she knew that that was a touchy subject for me, and I felt a tidal wave of pain slam into me, but I tried to not show it.

"Yes…but I knew the Cullens." I said, suddenly my whole scheme with Carson Stivil seemed utterly pointless.

"Well…maybe you should get to know the new kids." Angela said trying to lighten up the mood.

"I doubt they would be interested in me." I said looking down at my untouched food.

I was silent the rest of the time only thinking about Edward, the intense pain was almost too much for me to take.

When the bell rang I shot up from the table and quickly walked away from the cafeteria.

When I sat down in my seat I noticed that Carson was already their, giving me an odd look.

"What?" I almost snapped.

"Nothing." He said, and with a voice so smooth like _his_, I dismissed the subject.

"So….what is your favorite color?" Carson asked suddenly.

"It changes daily but today it is purple." I said, not knowing where this sudden question was coming from.

"What's yours?" I asked

"Brown."

"What is your favorite animal?" He asked.

I gulped; I was picturing him tearing the neck of a deer wide open. "An Elephant." I said.

"Yours?" I asked.

"Tiger." He said, and I had an idea why, flashes of Edward telling me a mountain-lion was his favorite animal because of the fight it would try to put up against him, I swallowed hard.

"What's your favorite movie, book, and food." Carson asked.

The questions kept going on like that, even when class started I completely ignored the lesson as usual and so did he.

"Do you believe in mythical creatures?" I asked, knowing this question would catch his attention.

"What kind of creatures are you talking about?" He asked. His eyes hard, and lips tight together.

"Ohh…I don't know, Nymphs, werewolves, vampires…." I said trailing my sentence.

"I do believe….that their is forms of 'mythical creatures' out there, somewhere." He said, giving me that odd look again. It was strangely….revealing.

"What about you?" He asked me.

"Oh…I think that they are out there." I smirked.

"Stivil and Swan." I heard Mr. Dankell yell our names.

"Yea?" I asked with absolutely no respect in my voice for this teacher, no one such a teacher like him, can tell me what to do.

"Yes Sir?" Carson spoke with much authority,_ 'Wow, we are more different then I expected.'_ I thought

"What is the answer to my question?" Mr. Dankell spoke like he was king, and his main goal was to try and get us to say the wrong answer only to prove we weren't listening, which would only result in him agitated, and he called me the stupid one…..some teachers today……….

"True." Carson said, and I knew it was right but just to get on the teacher's nerves I answered it wrong.

"365!" I said and slumped back down in my seat as if I was ready to copy his notes.

Mr. Dankell's face got really red that I thought he was going to yell and throw things at me.

"Pay closer attention next time Miss. Swan or it might just put you into detention." Mr. Dankell sneered my name out.

"Next time….don't you worry." I said eased back and unaware of all the looks me and Carson were getting.

It was times like these that I truly didn't care about what I said or did, because no matter how much someone would hurt me, it would never compare to the pain I am feeling every time I here Edward's name.

Nothing on this entire world would be able to break me, but I only had one weakness, and that was the love I still held for Edward. You can call me a whore, bitch or slut and I won't even blink. Say that Edward truly never wanted me and I am ready to jump off a cliff (literally). But I guess that is how life is, or at least, how my life is.

When that period ended, the rest of my school day zoomed by, and when I finally got home I was passed out on the couch as soon as my homework was half completed.

That didn't stop the nightmares though…...

I was in our meadow, alone. I looked sad but that wasn't a surprise to me. Then Edward appeared and I ran towards him, and flew myself into him. Of course just like every other nightmare I have had, he pushed me away and looked at me as if I was food, not a person he maybe once had held feelings for.

"I hate you" He growled at me, and my world shattered that I couldn't breathe anymore.

"I never loved you, you worthless human, I used you! Don't you get it! I am a vampire and I could kill you in a second! I need a person worthy enough for me." Edward doubled over in a menacing laughter.

I still couldn't breath, my hand clutched over my chest, I felt as if I was two inches from death. My whole entire world clasped over something one person said.

But this wasn't any one person; this one person once held my heart and now he is breaking it right in front of me. It was the cruel torture of life, that I was the most unfortunate person to experience this type of pain.

Yet, this almost wasn't a surprise to me; I knew having him was too good to be true, it wasn't adding up. I knew he could never love a fowl human such as myself.

Then fire surrounded us and Edward looked completely calm, his piercing black eyes, still beautiful as always, drilling into my skull with so much hatred that I screamed in pain.

He smiled at this, showing me his perfect, white teeth.

I stayed on the ground sobbing, I heard him sneer "Pathetic human" as he ran away leaving me in the quickly growing flames.

As the flames caught up to me, I screamed an ear-piercing scream.

Then I woke up to sound of my own scream, cold sweat covered my entire body, and I was shaking violently.

I then ran upstairs to take a shower, not thinking about anything. I didn't want to look back on my pain.

When I finally made it to school that morning, it seemed to have passed by without me even realizing it, but the nightmare I had kept replaying into my head at times.

Once I was at biology I was secretly relieved that I had someone to talk to.

Me and Carson talked about random things, and which resulted in me getting a detention, no matter how much Carson would plead for me not to get a detention, that it was both of his and mine faults, Mr. Dankell has taken the roll to try and make my life miserable, but it was kind of worth getting in trouble though

I had nothing in life to truly keep me here, on this unjust world, but for the sake of Charlie, Renee and this kid in my biology class, I finally found a little hope somewhere inside my lonely life.

Two weeks went by, of my nightmares (but that was nothing new), and of Carson talking to me everyday at biology, it really made a difference in my life to have someone to talk to. It actually, felt nice…..

And almost on cue the voice re-appeared

_'Be Happy' His_ familiar voice whispered across my head, and I cringed.

It is true I did mess with Carson's head sometimes, that he actually got a little mad at me, but he got over it. He knows me more then anyone in the entire school, I think I might even consider him a friend. Then we started asking more personal questions. I wasn't totally open to him but it made me smile when he actually listened. Of course I did the same to return the favor.

Carson and his family came from Augusta, Maine, and his parent's jobs causes them to move around a lot. (I knew he was lying but I was strangely o.k. with that.) He gets along with his sister, Heidi, she is definitely into the latest fashions, parties and makeup, but I had a hard times finding a girl who isn't. Carson doesn't know who his biological parents are. (I have a feeling he knows them a little, but only what he remembers when he was human.)

In fact, when I came home that day I actually was smiling. This kid, this one kid was making my life almost seemed worth living, almost.

But I knew, things never lasted, my nightmares have been coming more forcefully and I am in more pain then I was before I met Carson, but then again, it is understandable.

One night when I went to sleep I had the most awful nightmare of Edward yet. That I couldn't stay in the house any longer, that I got up, put on a jacket, threw on jeans and I ran outside and into the woods surrounding me.

Of course it had to be raining, it's Forks, what could I expect, but this was a bad rain storm. It didn't stop me from running though. Then I heard the loud sound of thunder just above me and on impulse, I kneeled to the ground and put my hands on my head.

I thought it was rather stupid of me to do that, but it was an impulse. I got up and started running away again, away from my house that truly wasn't a home to me anymore. Faster away I ran not thinking of anything, I just kept running, it was the only thing that made sense to me anymore.

Then I saw it, it was a large bolt of lightening, it was so close that it hit an extremely large and old tree that lighted on fire almost immediately. I watched in awe as the flames grew rapidly, despite the rain falling on it.

Then I heard the sickening crack of the tree trunk breaking, I could see the tree falling towards me, I was frozen, just like when Edward first kissed me, but their was one huge difference, I was frozen in pure fear. My legs wouldn't move, my head was screaming at my legs, but I remained still.

My eyes were large, and I could feel them swelling in that salty mixture I knew so well.

Then what happened next engraved itself into my memory, however, I barely knew what actually happened myself.

It all went by so quickly that I didn't even have enough time to blink.

As I was watching the tree tumble towards me with the flames still attached, a white stream, came to me in amazing speed, you could have thought it was a streak of lightening.

But that stream of white, came to me and tossed me over its shoulder and ran with the same speed Edward used to do when we would run with me threw the forest. The feelings were all too familiar, that same stomach-flipping nausea returned just like old times, I missed it too much.

As my head was on the shoulder on my savior, I let my silent tears fall from my eyes.

Then after two seconds of running I was set down on the cold, wet grass with my savoir leaning over me, staring at me with familiar gold eyes.

When my vision cleared I could see Carson, despair filled me in an instant, Edward was who I expected to see, who I wanted to see, I need to see him again not just in my nightmares, but that fantasy was quickly shattered.

Then I let my sobbing begin. I felt Carson hold me close to him and I wrapped my arms around him, feeling the need for the support I had to live without for quite sometime now.

"Carson!" I gasped, afraid that he might leave me here; maybe saying him name would help my brain focus a little.

At that moment the nausea feeling came back full force and I heaved to my left side, letting my previous meals come back.

I also felt regret and disgust at the same time, I was done with putting on this charade that I didn't know who Carson was, what Carson was. It was done, finished, over, was coming to an end right now.

I figured if he killed me, I was going to die anyway by that tree, so what did I have to lose?

"Carson, I know what you are, I know………..I know you are a vampire." I said with my hoarse voice.

I never heard his voice in a reply.

"Carson! Please! Don't leave me!" I screamed but I was on the ground screaming for something I didn't even know was there. I couldn't tell if that scared me or not…

I heard a faint "I'm Sorry" and when I looked up I could see those golden, penetrating eyes, staring at me with that haunting look, with the flames from the forest in the back- round slowly growing, soon to be out of control. It was like I was in my own nightmare, never to go back to the real world again.

But when I blinked, it was gone, Carson was gone, yet that eerie feeling of Carson's eyes staring almost right threw my soul still surrounded me. He left me, I starting bawling at my sudden and unpleasant loneliness.

I knew I should get home and with the increasing of flames approaching me and Charlie, I decided it was the best thing to do and just suck up all my pain and deal with it for now.

When I got inside I called the police and the fire department, they told me that they would be hear any moment just all I have to do it stay outside of the house, safely away from the fire.

I went into Charlie's room, and yet I still had a good purpose of doing so, I still felt like I was violating something.

When I woke him, he was surprised and worried, but I didn't blink. The stare of those golden eyes kept haunting me, every time I closed my eyes.

Even with my close death experience, with the nightmares, woods, fires, and that haunting look in Carson's eyes, it didn't seem like 'just like any other day' anymore, no. It seemed as if that all my troubles were only just starting, and that's what frightened me the most.

**A/n- soo what do you think!? Give me a few days to update though, it's my summer too! Sorry I haven't updated faster though I didn't think this story would actually catch on so fast!! I couldn't be more happier!! YEA! Thanks for all of yur comments and opinions they mean sooo much to this story!**

**THaNkS SO muCH!!**

**-KluTz**


	3. Chap 3 All These Voices

**Disclamier- Let me borrow them and we can all have a huge party!! but for now... u just get a story. XP (STILL DON"T OWN IT!!) **

**A/n- ENJOY!!**

**B-POV**

I was outside with Charlie on our front lawn, the fire was still approaching us, the rain was still down pouring, the thunder still loud, and the lightening didn't ease off.

_'Welcome to Forks.'_ I thought with sarcasm.

I saw 7 other families doing the same as us, I was watching the fire behind us grow, while ambulances, and fire trucks pulled up to our street.

Me, Charlie, the Stivils and another family got into one ambulance, while the other families, got into other ambulances.

We had to evacuate this area until further notice, at least, that's what the tall fireman was yelling at us to do.

I was in total shock; I could barely comprehend on what was happening right before my eyes.

I looked back at my house, seeing the flames behind it and all the brave firemen and women running into the raging fire.

I rested my head on Charlie's shoulder, I needed to sleep, but I was too scared. I knew Carson was in the same ambulance as me, but I wouldn't look at him, I wouldn't look at his family either, I wouldn't look at anybody. So I just closed my eyes, and let the sounds of the rain fill my ears.

When I felt the ambulance come to a stop, I opened my eyes to see Carson standing in front of me ready to exit the ambulance. I could see that we were in front of Fork's Hospital, memories of when I was their with Dr. Carlisle Cullen filled my head; once again, I held back tears.

I saw my entire street was in the waiting room, of the very familiar hospital I had too many times with.

I glanced at the Stivils, they looked solemn, but almost unconcerned on what's happening around them. Carson caught me looking out of the corner of his eye and he turned to look at me, his eyes staring at me, I shuddered, it was as if he was searching for something in me.

_'Bella'_ I heard a voice penetrate my mind, at first I thought it was Edward's but, it almost sounded like….Carson's.

_'I need to get out of here'_ I thought to myself, I felt claustrophobic and trapped, I needed to go, I needed to.

"Dad, I am going go find something to eat." I said, maybe this hospital has a cafeteria.

"With what money?" Charlie looked at me gravely, I knew our relationship has hit rock bottom, but I just couldn't talk to him anymore, I dug deeper and deeper into my own hole with all my own problems and was never going to get myself out, not even my own father would be able to talk me out of my emotional state of mind, I was in a scary place, and I was unstable, I could start sobbing right now and start screaming at anyone because of what a mess my life is, but Charlie was never that type to 'talk' about things, so I didn't feel obligated to explain things to him, I guess I just expected him to know. It wasn't fair to him or me, but it's the way things are.

I stuck my hand into my pocket and pulled out 5 dollars and a few cents, I didn't wait for him to reply, I walked off.

I went into the cafeteria, I saw an 'Exit' sign and walked out of the hospital.

_'Don't Leave'_ That same voice penetrated my mind, I didn't know what was happening to me.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, I was done! With everyone's voices inside my head, Edward's, Carson's, even mine! I just needed to be alone, or maybe, that was the last thing I needed.

All these voices, coming from all different directions, and all different point of views, everyone wanted something from me, something I just couldn't give them. I just couldn't take this much pressure, I just couldn't deal with my life style anymore. I felt too alone all the time and I was sick of it, I needed one person to trust, and now I can't even trust myself and that was what scared me the most.

I started running again but didn't make it that far until the voice came back again.

_'Stop! Don't move! I am coming for you.'_ I don't know who it was, but if they were trying to comfort me in that one thought, they just totally freaked me out even more, which I really didn't need right now.

My breathing went ragged and I was just standing in the rain, unsure of what to do, this mystery voice, it scared me, but that didn't mean I would listen to it, maybe I could talk to it instead…..or maybe I was just going insane.

"Who are you?" I said aloud, my voice shaking, I didn't even think I recognized it.

No answer from my mysterious voice.

_'Who are you?'_ I thought in my mind.

_'Carson.'_ The voice told me, and my mind went into a frenzy.

All these voices, I just couldn't take it. All these voice were coming to me; I didn't know what to do. Everyone was telling me to do something different, Edward was popping into my mind and then Carson's face and then those penetrating, haunting eyes of Carson, I couldn't picture Edward's eyes without a hatred glare in them, and that, hurt the most. I couldn't even believe in myself anymore to do the right thing, only because I didn't know which was which anymore.

So many voices, I am insane, that was my conclusion, but the scarier part was I didn't know who was persuading me to assume that anymore.

Tears started streaming down my face, I didn't know what to do, I felt so weak, and helpless that my vision was blurring and my legs felt too heavy, when I tried to turn around and walk towards the hospital doors I couldn't hold myself together for much longer.

I wasn't thinking clearly at all that moment or I could have probably thought of more reasonable answers.

Then Carson appeared and he ran towards me, my heart beat was going so fast and it was thumping so hard that I was positive he was hearing it, with or without vampire hearing.

"Bella!" Carson called out to me, I felt like I was loosing my hearing and I did the only thing that could tell me I was still here, I was still me, even though who I was, wasn't who I wanted to be, because I felt like I was floating away, never to be seen, heard, or felt again, it was one of the most scariest moments of my life.

I screamed an ear-piercing scream, it was the only thing that made me feel like I was still here, Carson kept coming toward me, but my vision blacked out, the sound of the rain falling seemed to have stopped at that moment and I didn't feel any part of my body anymore.

_"Bella, NO!"_ It was Carson's and Edward's voice in my mind, before all these voices, and everything, shut down, I didn't know for how long, but in my head, I was gone.

**A/n- Well…what do you think?? I am going to work more and more for this story because you guys really seem to like it!! It makes me soo happy! I was really surprised at how much reviews I got in a short period of time!! THANKS SO MUCH!! I should be updating MAYBE today again….or just tomorrow. **

**THANKS FOR READING!!**

**-KluTz**


	4. Chap 4 SORRY! truly

**Disclamier- Let me borrow them and we can all have a huge party!! but for now... u just get a story. XP (STILL DON"T OWN IT!!) **

**Author's Note**

**I no, I no, I hate them too, but this is important**

**SORRY!! but...**

**I am going to be on vacation till wednesday, so I am not going to have access to a computer until that time!**

**PLEASE!! keep this story on yu alert I havce one chapter almost done and then I will still work on!!**

**Just I won'****t be able to update for a lil, but please still read it. **

**You all made me SOOOOO HAPpy when you gave me all those reviews and I want to ThanK you for that!!**

**I'll be back soon,try not to cry! lol**

**Thanks for everything, you really made this story worth writing!!**

**-KluTz**


	5. Chap 5 Confessions and The Family

**Disclamier- Let me borrow them and we can all have a huge party!! but for now... u just get a story. XP (STILL DON"T OWN IT!!) **

**BPOV-**

When I 'woke up' I thought I was dead, but then I saw the heart-monitor on my right-side and the annoying beeping noise surrounded me.

I opened my eyes wider and then my vision cleared completely, I could see Carson on my left and he was sitting in an over-stuffed chair staring right at me.

Then all the things that happened to me before I passed-out flooded back into my mind and I cringed.

"What is with you staring at me" I said looking at Carson fully now.

"I am only trying to figure you out." He said monotone, no emotion really shown through.

"There is nothing to figure out, I know what you are, ever since the first day in biology, and then I tell you and you leave me in a forest with a wild fire. What the hell is wrong with you?" I snapped viciously, I was angry with him, but who could really blame me?

"I am sorry I left you, just when you told me, I was scared, I was afraid you were going to tell someone and I didn't know what to do, I just…….I didn't want someone to get hurt, or …..I don't know, I just couldn't handle it, I have never heard of a human knowing the truth about vampires and I didn't know what the outcome of that was, I didn't know what would happen to you or me so I thought that if I left you my problems would just go away, but they didn't, and they won't ever." He said, trying to explain to me what was going through his head that night, and even though he was having a tough time, I still understood him.

I sighed, I knew I forgave him, just I was so confused.

"I forgive you Carson, just….I know that this is going to sound crazy but….were you ever… talking to me…….inside my head?" I asked and felt kind of embarrassed to ask this question because it sounded crazy, even when **I** said it, so he must have thought that the blow to my head did more damage then it appeared.

I blushed and Carson grinned.

"Yes…I know it sounds crazy but my power is I can telepathically have conversations with people, I can say stuff in your mind and it is my choice to let you reply to my mind, but technically speaking, I can't 'read' your mind without you talking to me on your own." He said explaining his true self to me, and suddenly it all made sense.

I sighed in relief. 'At least now I know I am not insane.' I thought to myself.

But then a tidal wave of pain made it's way into my heart, Carson reminded me so much of Edward, and the pain I was feeling only grew, and eventually I knew I wouldn't be able to take it anymore, someone has to ease my pain some how, some way, one day, before it's too late.

"What time is it?" I asked him trying to distract myself from my mental death-sentence.

"Just around 9:00 a.m." Carson replied.

"How long was I out for?"

"Around an hour." He said, and I could feel mood lighten and I was internally grateful for that, all this intense pain was getting to be too much.

"Where's Charlie?" I asked suddenly worried about his well-being.

"He just went out to get something to eat; apparently hospital food isn't good enough for him." Carson explained, which wasn't so shocking because take-out was Charlie's only food he really got.

"What about everyone's house! And the fire! What happened?" I was very worried about what happened when everyone evacuated their houses.

"Everyone just heard that it is ok to go back home and take your car or something, but the new reporters, and toxic fumes from the fire is still around and we need to wait until 2:30 until we can go back to our homes and stay their without harm." Carson said and I sighed again in relief.

"Carson?" I asked

"Yea?"

"Why were you going after me when I ran out of the school?" I asked wondering the answer.

"Well…..what happened in the forest when I left you kept replaying in my head, and you have no idea how much guilt I felt, and to tell you the truth, I was worried about your well-being and I knew I would feel responsible if anything ever happened to you." Carson said, but it sounded to….fake to me.

"Carson let me ask you something." I stated.

"Anything."

"Why are you even here, you don't have to waste your time with a human, or are you here so you can threaten me or something, so I won't reveal your secret." I said with a harsh tone.

"Bella do you honestly think, out of the person I have shown you I am, do you think I would ever do something like that to you?" Carson asked, I knew he was right, but I was just being stubborn, but out of all the hurt and pain I am going threw do you honestly expect me to trust another?

"Carson, I only know you as the human you wanted me to believe, not the vampire you are." I said solemn, he knew I was right, and I could see him search for something to say, but he was speechless for a while.

"That is true Bella, but who I am as human, is me, what I told you was the truth except for some details, but now that I know, that you know, I am vampire I can tell you about who I am, human life and vampire life." Carson said with confidence.

I didn't give him a reply; I was wondering whether or not I am ready to trust someone again.

'Well….we can start talking with our minds now.' I heard Carson's voice fill my head, but this time I didn't think I was insane and I wasn't that scared, but I just wasn't expecting it to happen that when I heard his voice I let a gasp out.

Carson looked amused and I just gave him a coy smile.

'You think you're so cool.' I thought, I was wondering if he heard it or not.

"So, what is it about you're vampire life that is so special." I said pretending not to be as interested as I really am.

"Well…I am 284 years old, and it has been a very long time. I met Felix, Louisa, and Heidi all at the same time since I was the last to join their coven. I don't know who changed me, but their isn't a day that I wish I was still human. --Carson paused before he told me this, so I knew it was important-- The day I became a vampire, I was walking in the woods to get away from my fiancé, Abigail, me and her were completely in love more then the princes and the princesses in fairy tales, and I was certain, that we would get our happily-ever-after, once we got married in three months. However, we just had a huge, awful fight……one I can remember completely, and I regret it with everything I am. I wish it didn't end that way, but the one thing I have learned from being alive for this long is, is you can never change the past no matter how painful it was, or how much you want it to, because in the end, it was the way things were suppose end up as. I still have a tough time realizing that is true, but I still feel completely responsible of what happened to her." Carson was trying to hard to say this, that I could almost feel his pain.

"I remember telling her, 'You can't let your parents control you as if you are their slave, running and hiding for the rest of our lives won't solve anything and will only make our lives bitter and harder to live, look at us now! All this fighting, it will be our future if we keep arguing and dishonest to each other like this! This isn't the way things for us should turn out, maybe we are just not meant to be.' It broke both of our hearts to hear that. We were both just, so angry at each other, that I just left, I told her I would be back but I never did, not as a human though. I guess I had been in the middle of some vampire's hunting time, that I was just that unlucky soul to be there, at the wrong place at the wrong time. I remember being so frightened when I was turned, that I ran back to the one person I knew I could trust and love me even though what I have turned into. When I returned to Abigail she saw me in my in-human state, she……..she called me…….." Carson couldn't continue.

"You don't have to say it." I sympathized him quietly.

"She called me a monster." Carson choked out and I had a burning in my heart because that was the word Edward used so much.

"At that moment my heart was broken and I could no longer trust anyone, that I snapped, and…….I killed...her." Carson was able to say this horrifying story, and I could barely stand to hear this story and living though it must have been pure torture.

We were silent for quite some time after that, no one really knew what to say.

"Would you like to hear my life's story, of how I know what you are?" I said testing my stability on this forbidden subject.

He just nodded, I am sure he was recovering from his flash-backs.

I took in a deep breath, as if I was ready to run a marathon. This was going to be much harder though.

I told him everything, from where I moved from, how I fell in love with Edward, when I met James, Laurent, and Victoria, when Jasper attacked me, and then when Edward told me he never loved me and left. It was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I was still sobbing, I let all my emotions go right in front of Carson, I felt to weak, and frail as I was letting my tears loose.

But after sometime, I finally pulled myself together again and locked up all my emotions, just like I always do.

Then when I looked at Carson again, all I could see in his eyes was hurt, sympathy, sorrow, pain, misery, and regret. I knew my facial expression said the same but seeing it told me that I wasn't alone.

I finally did what I needed for so long, I got up, off the white hospital bed and walked toward Carson, but foot got caught on the sheets of the bed and fell down towards the unforgiving floor.

But I never hit the floor, those cold, strong arms I have been waiting for finally came, only it wasn't Edward's, they belonged to Carson.

I was inches away from his beautiful face, I could feel his cold breath on my face, and his haunting golden eyes felt like they were going right threw me.

I was frozen in time, once again.

I then reached my hands around his neck and crushed myself towards him; I needed a hug for the longest time. So I let myself pour out, feeling that comforting embrace to hold me together.

Then I pulled back, wiped away my tears and I gazed into Carson's eyes again, they held so many emotions, that I just get caught staring at them without be able to look away. They were sooo…..captivating.

Then at that exact moment….my dad decided to walk into the room.

"Hey, Carson do you know if--uhhh….Bella you're awake?" Charlie looked really uncomfortable and I felt a blush rise up in both of our cheeks.

"Hey dad." I mumbled as I walked towards him and gave him an awkward one-armed squeeze.

"Hi Bells, I was just came in to say that we can go home now." Charlie said a little over enthusiastically. Wow…2:30 came by quickly.

"Actually Mr. Swan, Me and Bella were wondering if you would let her spend the day with me." Carson said with a gentle but authorized tone.

Charlie stared at us, as if we were scheming something, I kept my expression blank from all emotions, and I have mastered it to perfection when Edward left me, I cringed internally.

"And what would you two be doing, exactly." Charlie asked folding his arms across his chest.

"Well I thought maybe she would like to visit my family, it's only across the street." Carson said, and then shock appeared on my face, I wasn't expecting that.

Charlie catching my sudden expression immediately said "Bella, are you sure you would like to go, you have been through a lot lately." Charlie said eying me for more sudden emotions.

I gathered myself quickly together and then answered. "I would love to meet Carson's family, it would be nice." I said with a smile at the end.

Charlie was observing up more intently then smiled. "Well if you're sure Bella, go right ahead."

And with that Carson grabbed my hand and started leading me towards the hospital exit.

Once we got outside and safely away from other potential listeners, I smacked Carson on the arm, hard, but really, it only hurt me.

"OW!" I yelled.

"What was that for?" Carson asked almost amused, and then he grabbed my hurt hand, the coldness of his skin helped.

"I am not going to see your family!" I sneered.

Carson almost looked hurt. "Why not?"

"They won't like me." I said crossing my arms over my chest.

Then Carson started bursting into laughter, I just stared at him.

"So let me get this straight, you are not going to a house full of vampires that have a high potential to harm you, because you are worried that they won't like you?" He said like it was the most craziest thing he has ever heard, but it made perfect sense to me, I was up for round 2 of this, first Edward's family, now Carson?

"Yea basically." I said, Carson stopped laughing.

"Look at me; I look like a truck hit me! I am not presentable." I said looking down at my grass-stained shirt and muddy pants, and I was sure my hair was a disarray.

Carson looked at me up and down, I felt like I was being judged by people at a beauty-pageant.

"You look beautiful." Carson said.

"That wasn't cheesy at all."

"Come on please, I am sure they would definitely want to meet you."

"Let me change, then yes."

"Fine get on my back, we will run their."

"No." I said firmly.

"What?" Carson said confused.

"You heard me, No, I hate riding on vampires backs, they go too fast."

"Please….I'll go slow."

"No you won't."

"Please, just get on, and we'll be their in 2 seconds."

"Bite me."

"Really?"

"NO!" I yelled, repulsed by the idea of what I would have died for (literally) a few months ago.

"I was just kidding."

"Sure, sure."

"O.k. get on." Carson pleaded.

"Nooooo." I said exaggerating.

Carson then took me into his arms, I was staring right into his golden eyes, they looked frustrated and maybe a little amused. I was no farther then 2 inches from his lips….

"Please….come on." He breathed in my face, his eyes smoldering, his breath smelled sweet yet his soap aroma smelt spicy.

Who would say 'no' to that?

I sighed, frustrated, he knew he was winning. "Please, it will be fine, there is nothing to be scared about." Carson said closing the gap between us, as he rested a hand on my shoulder.

"Please, it's the fastest way, take a chance, I promise nothing will happen to you." I heard Carson's voice inside my head.

"You are such a cheater." I thought towards his head.

I saw his smile broaden with triumph, and I just rolled my eyes.

Then his hands went down to my waist, a tingling feeling was left behind. Then I felt myself being flipped over and flung onto his back, but the sudden movement scared me and I let out a yelp.

I heard Carson chuckle.

"Are you ready?" He asked, concerned.

"Not even in the slightest." I said terrified, I clamped my ankles together around his waist, and my hands locked with each other around Carson's neck.

"Close your eyes." He said and when I did the wind was against my face faster the I expected, I was holding on for dear life, I could feel the adrenaline pulse through me and I was sure Carson felt the vibration of my heart beat against him.

All I could do was pray that it would all be over soon.

Then, all at once, as if for only two seconds –as he promised it would last--, I felt myself come to a stop, the ragging wind whipping itself again my face stopped and I slowly opened my eyes.

"Uh…Bella?" Carson said a little unsure.

I made a groaning sound to let him know I acknowledged him.

Then I slid off of his back and hit the ground hard with my butt, I looked up to see Carson holding back laughter.

I made a 'humph' noise and went inside of my house, without turning back to see that smirk plastered on his face that I knew was there,.

I ran upstairs and decided to take a really quick shower, and then I blow-dried my hair and put it into a sleek pony tail. I made sure I wouldn't wear a T-shirt with sweatpants. Then I slowly took out a light-blue blouse and tan skirt, of course I didn't buy it, it was in the back of my closet, what Alice bought me once, on our countless shopping trips, a forced myself not to let a single tear out of my eyes.

I applied some clear lip-gloss as I ran down-stairs and tripping.

I held myself into a ball as I fell, but once again, what I expected to land on was the floor but that wasn't what broke my fall, it was those familiar stone arms wrapping themselves around me.

I looked up at Carson, who was surprisingly closer then I thought he would be, his eyes dancing.

"Nice fall." He breathed.

"Nice catch." I said with a smirk.

He set me up-right, and I smoothed out my skirt.

Carson's eyes was glued to my smooth legs, of course with the occasional bruise or cut from falling.

A coy smile appeared on my face, I lifted one of my legs higher so he could have a better look, I could feel my skirt riding higher.

I stepped toward him and smoothed my hands over his muscular chest, his eyes now connected with mine; I let them linger there for a second before whispering something into his ear.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer."

Then I bolted for the door, but not before stumbling for a moment.

He came out of my house a moment too late.

"What took you so long?" I asked coyly.

He just looked at me, his hands were on my waist and the soon trailed all the way to my cheeks, he lingered their for a moment letting his icy finger-tips electrify my face.

His face was closer to me, I heard my breath hitch and then….

He walked away from me.

A sickening familiar feeling then wrapped around me, Edward would do the same exact thing, memories of him that I was sure was locked up forever have flooded into my mind, but I had to be strong, I wouldn't cry.

"Are you coming?" Carson said arms crossed over his chest like he knew everything that needs to be known.

I rolled my eyes, heard the hard slapping noise of my flip-flops to the ground as I walked toward him with a red blush staining my cheeks.

We walked towards his house, I was filled with my just-discovered confidence as Carson whispered them in my mind, but as soon as I got to front door, I stopped dead cold, I was more nervous than I needed to be.

Carson grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze for reassurance that was greatly needed.

"Time to meet The Family." I thought nervously and sarcastically. I

Carson opened the dark, cherry-wood door to the large white house in front of me, it was true it was not as big as the Cullens, but it was bigger than most houses Fork's found around this area.

When I opened the door, their was a medium sized chandelier above our heads, their was a curving staircase that probably went up to two floors. I could tell the theme of this house was white, and red. Their was long red and white curtains on every window, their was a walk-way to the kitchen from where we stood, but the rest was a deep red color carpet, I saw white furniture, every thing wood in the house was cherry-wood, very exact and obeyed the theme portrayed here perfectly.

It was beautiful, but it was nothing compared to the family.

Their standing right before me was a stunning male and a female both around 25 or 27, then I saw Heidi also gorgeous as usual.

They were staring all right at me, and I couldn't have been more self-conscious.

An awkward silence formed around us, then Felix Stivil cleared his throat. 'Thank God'

"Carson, who's your friend?" Felix said with a gentle tone, but I could tell it had a strict edge to it.

"This is Bella everyone, that is my dad Felix, my mom Louisa, and my sister Heidi." Carson said introducing me to everyone.

I could tell everyone was on edge and I couldn't tell if they knew, that I knew that they were vampires.

Then Carson started talking to them really fast and I could barely understand them but I got a few words out. I could understand that he was explaining to them that I knew their secret.

Then I heard Heidi sigh suddenly.

"Well…that's a relief. Hey, I am Heidi we should so totally go shopping on day." Heidi said a little quick for me but I got it, I smiled at her sudden out-going-ness, she reminded me of Alice.

"Hi, you don't need to worry about your secret, seriously it is safe with me." I spoke to all of them, I didn't need suspicion rising up about me.

"Well it is a pleasure to meet you, I am sorry we don't have anything to offer to you, we never get visitors." Louisa said kindly, she reminded me so much of Esme.

"A human knowing our secret, why I never heard such a thing, but I trust you, you are welcome to household whenever you like." Felix didn't remind me so much of Carlisle as I pictured him out to be, he seemed as if he was in the army once, somewhere strict that needed laws and rules, that must be obeyed. Although it surprised me how well this family trusted me so easily.

"We should explain." Carson said.

"Yes, about us." Louisa said.

"Let's start with me. O.k. I love to shop, fashion is my obsession, and do hair and makeup but I never tried it on a human, would you mind if I did some of my work with you?" Heidi asked over-enthusiastically.

"Sure, I am Barbie-Bella at your service." I said, everyone seemed to lighten up when I said that, but I haven't said that in too long, it hurt that Alice could be replaced like that, no, not replaced, she left me, and I hoped she would come back, Heidi is just filling in the spot for now.

"Well, I have telekinetic powers." Heidi said and she demonstrated for me, when I saw her floating in the air, she was smiling.

"Isn't it so cool!" She said as she floated around me.

Then I felt myself being lifted from the ground, then I looked down and saw my feet above the floor, I gasped and looked at Heidi.

She was smiling, "Isn't it cool?" She asked, true, it would have been cool if I wasn't so terrified.

"Uh…" I tried to say but then I tripped on my feet, and I came crashing down to the floor.

"Ow..." I said rubbing my head.

"Oh…..sorry I wasn't expecting that, it's all about balance, you'll learn it in time." Heidi said optimistically, but I really hoped she didn't hold her breath for that to happen. 'Well…technically she could hold her breath….since she is a vampire. Whatever. This is confusing.'

Carson helped me up. "Are you o.k.?" I saw him glare at Heidi and she gave a sheepish- smile back.

"Well, just because you are here now I am going to start cooking, this is going to be a challenge, and I can't even remember the last meal I have cooked. You wouldn't mind if you could be my tester, I would imagine most of my foods wouldn't taste that great, so this is at your own risk I just need to some practice." Louisa said a little embarrassed, I thought she was so sweet.

I smiled when I told her this. "I would be happy to try any kind of food creation you can think of."

"Bella, my power is I can get anything from the past, except people, for example, have you lost anything that you can remember?" Louisa asked me.

I thought hard, "Well, I did lose one of my blue heart-shaped earring, but I haven't seen that--" I couldn't even finish my as I stared I awe of what Louisa was now holding in her hand.

"My earring! Ohh, thank you Louisa!" I said ecstatic.

Louisa placed the earring in my hand and I placed it in the pocket of my skirt.

"Well, I have a the hobby of fixing things, anything that has been broken or something that will be broken over time, just bring it over to me and I will fix it for you faster then you can say 'Thanks.' As for my power, I can tell when people are lying or not. Ask me anything about yourself it could be either the truth or a lie, anything." Felix gruff voice spoke to me in a kind tone.

I thought hard then I thought of some things.

"My hair brush is green." I said

"True."

"I have a tattoo of a butterfly on my back."

"Lie."

"I have never eaten dirt."

"Lie."

"Wow….you're good." I said smiling.

"Well…..now that Bella has gotten to know each of you, I am going to show her the rest of the house." Carson said suddenly, I almost forgot he was here.

I walked up the winding staircase and I was shown many rooms, Felix's study, Heidi's room, Felix's and Louisa's room, the bathroom, the un-used kitchen, etc. It was a very long process.

Then finally I went into this dark blue room, with a king-sized bed in the corner, with a tan bed-spread. I could see the bathroom attached to it, and a stereo and a decent amount of CD's, but I also saw many camera's ranging from a two dollar disposable one, to a very high-tech one that has it's own table for it to be on. Then I noticed all the captivating picture hung all over the walls. I could see a sunset over the ocean, a full moon high in the sky just above crashing waves, the big red sunrise just over the tree-tops, two swans in a pond with their heads bent together to look like a heart, a whale flopping itself above water, I even saw a family picture of Felix, Louisa, Heidi, and Carson. All these photographs were beautiful, but their was one picture of something that shocked me to the core, it was my meadow, I have had too many memories with Edward, me and that sacred place, it was the meadow me and Edward shared, it's beauty still stunning even in picture form, I let a few tears roll down my face as all the nights and days me and Edward spent came flooding back into my mind.

"Bella what's wrong?" I heard Carson's voice squeeze itself into my head, I let some of my memories of this meadow fill his head, he understood at once and wrapped his arms securely around me, it helped more then he thought it would.

This beautiful meadow was now hanging on a wall right before me, I thought I would never see that meadow again, but I was wrong, ohh so very wrong.

After I gathered myself together, I was able to speak to Carson.

"I love all of these pictures, they are beautiful, is that what you do? Take photographs?" I asked, looking at all the pictures that should have been painted the moment seemed so perfect.

"Yes, it became an obsession that I felt the need to capture the beauty the earth has given us until sooner or later, it may be gone forever." Carson said, and I understood him completely.

I nodded in understanding.

After a while, we just started talking, I noticed that talking to Carson was become a lot easier, it almost came automatic, like breathing.

Then we started to talk about more serious stuff, about our old relationships, and even about werewolves that I was utterly shocked to find out, but I managed, but I am actually waiting until I crack from all this supernatural shit, I mean how much could one girl take?

When I went home that night, I actually was feeling lighter, that deep hole in my chest actually seemed like it was healing, slowly, but it was.

And that was good enough for me.

**_A/n- NO I DIDN''T FALL OFF OF THE FACE OF THE EARTHH!! I AM STILL HERE!! LOL !! i am doing a shit-load of a job updating but I am still trying. I do love this story and i hope you do to so to the ppl u still stood loyal i have one word to say to u -- I LOVE YOU!! hahaha soo tell me wat you think pleasse!! it means soo much to a story!!_**

**_-lov ya all_**

**_-thanks for putting of for my demented updating skills_**

**_-your favorite updater..._**

**_-KluTz_**


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